the two-legged tripod

At this point, it is safe to say we are gossiping, isn't it? Me ranting here, you agreeing there pushing me to spill further… Tell you what, I kind of enjoy giving you the tee. Have you ever wondered how opposites work? Like how is the opposite of black, white and the opposite of mother, father, and selfish, selfless? The binary nature of life brings about balance in a sense putting everything and everyone in place. However, we never always have to contend with this nature, and in doing so you specifically sign off for an equivalent of an uphill battle. You might be wondering what exactly is my point here…

The three-friend dynamic while ideal and one for the books – the three musketeers, the three amigos, the three of you – require certain work. It demands a deep level of self-sacrifice from everyone involved and a constant conscious decision to make the throuple work because otherwise, it is just a toxic infestation wanting to consume its participants. Nobody can ever point to the exact moment they became friends, only when they decided to become friends. The funny thing is though, almost everyone remembers the exact moment it ended. See, I realize more and more every day that we being African does very little to influence how we would like to be treated. Sure, we say it and think we do not think about being cared for, or the love, the smothering even but eh who are we kidding? Why then will you still hear stories of men who sold land to spend it with a girl half their age, or of women seeking young men with nothing but hips and words?

There is value in trying, there is value in going out of one’s way. I cannot start an enterprise and not expect my friend to support me in it and just be okay. “Oh that is just how they are…” Nonsense! Does it make me a wimp to expect a friend to show up? Maybe. But yeah, they owe me and my enterprise the common decency to be friends and check it out and put in a purchase. It is what makes this tripod – me, you, and common decency. Without the third, we are lying, and the tripod falls. You know what, I do not want to be alone either.

See in a group of three, there are always two friends and the third who yes, you guessed it, is the common decency. They are there to be full of sense, be the mediator and to lay down for the two to pass. Depending on the times and situations this role is passed on to every member one at a time. Only then can the throuple last. I guess the synonym for friend, is common decency then.

I have no story today, just a long drawn-out conclusion – friendships do not 'just work'. Open your eyes and put in the work because the opposite of a tripod is a two-legged tripod ;)

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