the narrative | wretched sanctimony

Let me tell you about three conflicts and one Lisa.

Conflict One.

Lisa observed that there were people with whom she went to the same meeting who seemed to have these seamless lives excessively dotted with pure bliss. So, she thought to herself, how do I become them? How do I get to possess what they do? 

Money…right? Maybe some nice clothes and an excellent camera phone…and shoes, definitely shoes. Guess what, it works. Lisa is at the top of her game. You know how I know? How she knew? The caliber of men that approached and those that ceased to.

Soon after she notices that her clothes are becoming either old or just unfashionable. They often do when compared to others'.

It is only a matter of time before the wallet is thirsty and the well is running dry. She cuts back, it is the wise thing to do. Lisa is a proactive girl though; she will not let this weigh her down.

"I am bored today," she thinks, "I could use some refreshments and maybe a kebab or two."

“Oh, I do not have that change. Just go with the money today and when you return you will bring me what you owe,” the vendor says to her because she knows Lisa, or should I say she knows the moneyed Lisa? This new Lisa is struggling with her needs, chances are she just won’t pay back. She does not.

 

Conflict Two.

Deficiency defines Lisa’s life. For a moment there it seems as though she might not make it. She is about to drown, about to break. She snaps very easily now and she longs for that life she led a while back.

“I wish I was her…she is so beautiful, why was I not created like that…

Why did I even get that kebab?”

While chugging this meaningless train of thought, her phone chimes. It is her dad calling but, he is not a bearer of favorable news. From the look of things, she will just have to do with the bare minimum.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

 Now, her dad is her dad, and that being the case he interjects,

“why are you so disgruntled? Learn to be content my daughter. Things are very hard but…”

She snaps and barks at her old man.

 

Conflict Three.

Lisa is distraught. Though she knows she knows she was impolite, ungrateful, and disrespectful, she still cannot help but feel angry and sad. She heaves aloud in her room about to break down when someone knocks on her door and flicks open the curtain.

“Heeeey Bestieee, why are you sleeping with your door open?”

She comes in for a hug.

“I was just a little tired,” she manages a chuckle trying to conceal any evidence of her eyes about to well up.

“Do you know why I came?”

“No, why?”

“That report which you were to finish working on. It is only your part that is left. 

I want to compile it now and send it”

Ah, we know how this goes, don’t we? Of course, she forgot. Now she has to deal with her friend’s condescending words said amidst the jokes.

“You never deliver, hahaha.” They both laugh.

“I will before I sleep today. I promise.”

The moment her friend leaves, she curses after her calling her all the colorful names she knows. How can she come here with her condescending looks and disrespectful words?! Screw the old man, how does he expect me to survive in this place without money? What even do I care if that vendor woman does not acknowledge me when I pass by her kiosk? I will pay her when I want!

Oof! She breaks down into sobbing heaving so loudly that her throat hurts. Not of pain she cries, not of hurt she weeps, but of remorse and of guilt. Isn't it weird how close happiness is yet made so distant under the lens of self-righteousness? Conflict?