#1 koni | an introduction

Thirty-seven years of munching down bread and ugali yet I cannot even get myself a wife. It is a burdensome task right now since the future is bleak and I don't even have a girlfriend to make into a wife.

I know… shameful right?

You know what the most painful part is? I have not felt the touch of a woman in a long long time. It hurts. It hurts even more that this is not by choice and I am forced to shove this reality down my gut every single day – I simply lack the social capital to gallop from hole to hole…or any capital for that matter.

My name is Chronic Konelia. Yes, I was named after a bout that almost wiped out my village, The Chronic Diarrhoea. The name sounded sophisticated to my father, a hospital janitor at the time. He never bothered to find out what it meant. Be that as it may, I have grown to like my name. I even shortened it to Koni. I bet it sounds corny that way.

I hate myself; my parents hate me; my siblings and community hate me as well. Or maybe hate is a strong word, they are just disappointed. I think I have low self-esteem. My counselor told me so. Here in Alelo, we don't have therapists.

I'm the eldest of eight. I have no job, no money, no decent house. I command no respect from everyone, even just a wee bit from our thin dogs. They keep on growling at me when I pass by them. Well, they think it bothers me. Scoff, it does not. My father is very old and grizzly. With all that white hair and tired skin, you would think he is wise, right? All he does is be scornful and mock every endeavor of mine. Somehow, however, people come for advice from that guy. Unbelievable! My mother on the other hand is my sweetheart. As old as she is, she still cooks for us, my father and I that is.

You know, sometimes I feel very ashamed when the festive seasons are with us and everyone is a visitor at home except me. I feel ashamed that for every belittling task anyone would want to be done for him or her, I would be the obvious choice.

"Koni, my dog can't poop, do something… my hens keep disappearing, Koni did you eat some?" Koni this Koni that…! Scoff, I have been through worse.

Anyway, tomorrow might change everything. Tomorrow might be the day I turn my life around. Tomorrow just might be the day I earn our dogs' respect! I have a lot riding on tomorrow.