mulo haven

Whom am I kidding? I needed that job and I could not even be bothered to prepare? For how long Koni? My stomach began grumbling. I was so hungry; I was literally following any passing food with my eyes. This was no time to feel shame.  I scanned the area and spotted a target, a lady by the chips stand.   "Hello there, how are you?" She did not reply. "Oh, sorry I didn't quite realize you were addressing me," she said smiling, "I'm fine, how about you?"   This lady looked corporate. She was dressed in a grey skirt and a black coat on top of a neatly ironed white blouse. She even had a bowtie, a grey bowtie. She looked young, early twenties-ish maybe or perhaps she just had money. She had this graceful body and thick, black shiny hair.   "I'm hu-hungry," I said amid a lousy yawn.    She giggled. It did not quite dawn on her instantly that I was not joking. On realizing this, she was taken aback but tried not to show it. "Well, I ca...

As Oramun went into consecration, down south by the lake a new decree was being enforced. All men had to serve Kak’idhim. Agasto Iknunii had just returned from his expeditions beyond the horizons of the great lake. It is said that the chief had returned with a gaze so bloody and a thirst so deep for conquest. “It is only natural that masters are served,” he said leaning toward the obvious superiority of his nation. "  Take a message to Oramun: Tell him to offer his land to Kak’idhim.  Tell him to send men to serve in my land and in my court and on my ships.  Tell him to send his wife as well, I have heard of her beauty and I want to behold her myself.  Tell him that Kak’idhim seeks not to start a war, only that should Oramun stand against me, I shall cut him down. " So filled with hubris he walked around his seat looking at his council's face and to him, they screamed proceed. So, he proceeded. " Take this message to his wife: Tell her I command the strongest a...

I slept early last night so that I could wake up early for the interview. Actually, the reason I had to wake up early is that the town center, where the interview is to take place, is quite far from my place and since I have no fare, I have to walk all the way there. I had gone to these interviews a lot, almost two hundred and seventeen of them. So, when I told my mother I was going to another, she wasn't that thrilled. In fact, she stopped giving me fare and packed lunch at interview seven. I heard my 5:00 am alarm but I slammed that snooze button. I snoozed it like three times again because in my mind it was only like ten minutes or so. Little did I know that my alarm was snoozing for an hour every time I hit that button. I felt a warm sensation from the sun on my cheek as I stretched on my mattress. Wait, why am I feeling the sun at 6:00 am? Oh no! I rushed to the bathroom behind my house, actually my brother's. I don't own anything tangible and by that, I mean something...

Let me tell you about three conflicts and one Lisa. Conflict One. Lisa observed that there were people with whom she went to the same meeting who seemed to have these seamless lives excessively dotted with pure bliss. So, she thought to herself, how do I become them? How do I get to possess what they do?  Money…right? Maybe some nice clothes and an excellent camera phone…and shoes, definitely shoes. Guess what, it works. Lisa is at the top of her game. You know how I know? How she knew? The caliber of men that approached and those that ceased to. Soon after she notices that her clothes are becoming either old or just unfashionable. They often do when compared to others'. It is only a matter of time before the wallet is thirsty and the well is running dry. She cuts back, it is the wise thing to do. Lisa is a proactive girl though; she will not let this weigh her down. "I am bored today," she thinks, "I could use some refreshments and maybe a kebab or two....

Many people envy how little kids approach one another and just go, “Hey can we be friends?” Next thing they are building castles, a long-term investment. At that moment, they are the best of friends…just them against the world.  They make it seem so simple, right? Is it? I tried it three times: I approached a girl, a stranger and yes, I put on a smile and walked gently toward her when I got to a reasonable distance, I cleared my throat and introduced myself. “Can we be friends?” I proceeded to ask. Tell you what, creepy is what I was. Nonetheless, I wore again the big boy trousers and went Into a boy this time. “Oookay?” he said, his eyebrows raised. We are not friends now. I don’t even see his dp anymore. Third, I decided to be very intentional with my approach. It had to be a pool I am fairly well-versed with, a pool that can at least recognize me. That way I do not have to do entire explanations. I was going to pick a girl for this one. Second, I had to let the poten...

Do you know what I have come to painfully learn? In order to be great, thou must serve and serve thou will. One day you are in and you realize there’s a whole new world that needs exploring. Oh wow, there are girls, beautiful girls. Oh look at that one well-endowed and all, or wait, that one with the dress…I swear I must look back.   “Oh wow,” I retort aloud. “Oof, did I just say that out loud?”   Next thing you know; the classes have all begun, cats have been set, and the semester has become serious. Doesn’t seem at all like the movies huh? No crazy inventions, or, or exuding passion for the course, or dirty studious students…scratch that, those do exist. What about those lectures huh? Aaaaaaaaah, things are moving so fast huh? “Bro, umecheki ile series ya Pieces of Her?” “Bro, umecheki hio trailer ya Top Gun? Wakanda Forever?” “Bro, cheki ule dem? si umbongeshe…naskia classrep ameng’ang’ana hapo mbaya…”   Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? A distinction has started showing. H...

Thirty-seven years of munching down bread and ugali yet I cannot even get myself a wife. It is a burdensome task right now since the future is bleak and I don't even have a girlfriend to make into a wife. I know… shameful right? You know what the most painful part is? I have not felt the touch of a woman in a long long time . It hurts. It hurts even more that this is not by choice and I am forced to shove this reality down my gut every single day – I simply lack the social capital to gallop from hole to hole…or any capital for that matter. My name is Chronic Konelia. Yes, I was named after a bout that almost wiped out my village, The Chronic Diarrhoea. The name sounded sophisticated to my father, a hospital janitor at the time. He never bothered to find out what it meant. Be that as it may, I have grown to like my name. I even shortened it to Koni. I bet it sounds corny that way. I hate myself; my parents hate me; my siblings and community hate me as well. Or maybe hate i...

Long long ago, in a place called Oramun, was a people so lovely, so determined. So beautiful were their villages that songs were written about them. A mighty river nourished its lands and the majestic peaks protected its children. Its natural opulence was well-known, even as far east as Lansia. Now it so happened that the Chief was expecting his first son in the season of dread. Of course, there were murmurs and hushes of the danger that awaited the heir. Why did he have to come now? What did it mean to be born in the season of dread? Did Chief dare the gods? The gods and the women of fortune were on his side though for in that season, so bountiful was the harvest, that the granaries could hold them not. Such a shame the fog was already reborn and they could no longer trade with the wanderers from Lansia. It is time. “Great Chief, the heir is finally impatient,” a woman beckons.  She is the sister of the chief’s wife. Now frantic, Chief drops his staff and runs toward the...